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We do not have control over the content of other sites that may be linked to us. Which means we take absolutely no responsability for what you might see by clicking on a link that leads to another site. The only thing we control is the content we post, ok that would include the links to the stuff that might twist yer silkies in a knot. However, if something is found inappropriate, by our staff, then it will be removed.

As parents, it is all of our jobs to monitor our kids...Note, I said our kids, this refers to the ones to which our genetic material was donated. So unless we are looking at a major paternity suit here!?!?! (hopefully you get the point.)

" I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, and just generally act like a raging ass."

Having said that...let the letters, emails and phone calls begin.....

How The Fight Started

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Shit! That must be my husband!
So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked, he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush, then started to run as fast as he could to his car.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman 'I AM your husband, you slut!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah??? Then why were you running....you Son of a Bitch !!!'
And that folks............is how the fight started.

I rear-ended a car this morning.
So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car... and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it... he was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"
and that's when the fight started..

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the fight started.

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your
shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'. And that's how the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at m y high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And that's how the fight started.....

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's how the fight started.....*

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And that’s how the fight started...

From Lisa...

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment,
she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet,cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves on one of the bedroom walls, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall. She's immediately touched by the amount of thought he's put into organizing the display.

There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She finds it strange for a young man to have such a large collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

All the while she is thinking to herself ... This is wonderful! Maybe this guy could be the one! Maybe he could father my children!...etc.
She turns to him...they kiss...and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, strokes his chest and asks coyly..."Well, how was it?"

The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."